Snowed In ...

The weather has been crazy here - it has been so cold. On Thursday, Jan. 28, it rained and sleeted which caused 1/2 inch of ice everywhere. Then to top it off, it snowed on Friday, snowed all day - we got about 3 inches of snow. The schools are closed, the interstates are closed, everything but Walmart is closed!! Walmart (I got this first hand from a friend) is out of all the basic items, even oatmeal!! Lots of empty shelves. And that leads me to say ...

I have been trying very hard not to go crazy with the food. I have been riding the "bike" for 1 mile - which is good for me with my foot not being up to par yet. I have been doing "my" exercises whenever I go from bathroom to bedroom. So Thursday and Friday both have been good days food wise. Now Saturday I felt like I wanted to eat more for some reason. Maybe because I have been alone now for several days (which I do enjoy), or because I am bored; just not too sure. I watched a lifetime movie that caught my attention. About a lady that misrepresented herself with her boss; but her and several friends have a pact to lose weight and get healthier. It was about their journey and at times they talked about the why they gained their weight - I could relate to some of it. It brought to mind several of my problems and why I gain some of my weight. I know that I am an emotional eater and it is hard to stop. I will eat when I am happy, sad, loney, bored, busy, or just because. Most of the time when I do this, I will start to eat sometimes and before you know it the box is empty. My solution ... I count out a portion and put the box back on the shelf. It is almost a habit for me now ... only Saturday I did have a problem with leaving the crackers alone. But I am sure working on it ... and it has not been too bad.

First Goal ...

This past week has been very interesting. First off - did I ever tell you that I go to a "at work" weight meeting? Last semester we had about a dozen people enrolled - only about 8 came weekly. Nice group ... you could talk and actually get some feedback from several others. This semester we have 20 enrolled. Wow, the leader said this was not uncommon since everyone wants to lose weight at the start of every year. Last week we had all 20 there. The room was full ... and I felt lost in the room and so many new faces - I didn't know half the people. But that all may change with some time. People drop out ... all for different reasons.

Last week I didn't lose or gain weight - maintained - What!! that just can't be ... I worked hard at losing, I exercised, I watched what I ate, I I I I - oh, well ...

Now this week, I lost 3.8#!! Yes!! Yes, I did it, I am now under the 300 mark. Do I really want the world to know that I weighed over 300 pounds? Not really, it kinda stresses me out. People look at you different at 300#s vs. under 300. Or have you noticed? I have been guilty of it myself. Several times I have been, say at the mall, and I will have said to myself, would you look at that lady/man - they weigh more than me, so I must be looking good ... not a good thing to say to anyone.. because I am sure someone has said that about me... wow, what a huge person, how could they have gotten that big!! But now I am more sensitive about people and their weight ... guess you could say been there, done that - and I don't plan to do it again.

Do you know what my "secret" weapon is to losing weight? Exercise ... plan and simple ... moving around more has helped me more than anything.

Do I like to exercise? No, no, no.

What kind of exercise do I do? Because I am just getting over a foot injury, I can't do too much exercising with jumping up and down (as if I could). The doctor said no jogging (not a problem!) and no stairs (which is fine with me). So what do I do? I tried to get to work 30 minutes early and walk around the square in the building that I work in. Plus, I do bathroom exercise -- what is that you question? It is movement I do when I go to the bathroom. I try to get the handicap stall - (after doing my business) I will do arm lifts, leg kicks, and wiggling, dancing, whatever to get my hips to moving... funninest thing ever if anyone would see me doing this. I try to time my bathroom "visits" to when no one else is in there - but at times it is hard since we have five stalls!! But it is working for me. I don't like to sweat, so I'm not a good candidate for gym visits. Thou, I have been also going to Zumba classes with a friend, about twice a week, and it will make you sweat. I don't like it but I can tell it is working. So movement is the key - whatever you can work into your day, whenever you can work it in, and wherever you are - move, move, move. Losing weight is such a journey.

Being on a Diet ... thoughts

Being on a diet, regardless if it is a healthy life change, or just trying to lose the pounds, is never easy. I know ... I struggle with it everyday. And everyday I have to decided what I want to eat, and all those decisions can wear a person out. It was a busy week at work - with an all day seminar to finish up the week. When I weighed in this week I lost another few pounds - so my total is now 35 total pounds lost. I have started to feel it in my clothes. Not a lot mind you - but enough to know that I have lost some. Just enough weight lost to get me in trouble -- I want to say to myself ... you have been good why not eat ___ ... or goodness that is a lot of weight lets celebrate by eating ___ ... but these ideas will just get me in trouble. I must keep myself focused on the fact that I need to keep losing - stay away from those thoughts that I am doing great by not eat that second portion ... no, no, I must stay away from those thoughts. I must stay on track - I must tell myself that this is just the beginning.

I do have some thoughts about what people say - or rather, what women say - about others who lose weight. I hate it when my friend says to another, hey M just lost 35 pounds, don't you think that is a ton of weight? (I sit there and think to myself, A TON - no, no, just 35 pounds - what does she mean by saying A TON. I want to yell at her and say, wait you are my friend, don't say anything about my weight - no, not a thing) now if they say, hey look as if you have lost some weight, let me say, thank you (and nothing else!). Oh, well ... I have decided to just not tell anyone - my total weight loss - maybe what I lost that week - but stay away from the total number - maybe that will help. We will see ...

The all day seminar turned out very nicely - the speaker was great - and I had it catered by a local person. A nacho bar with made to order quesadillas - and when it was over the caterer gave me all the leftovers - WHAT ... so I took home a number of things that we do not need to be eating. So I gave a lot of it away to my neighbor who has several young children and they could use the items. Thank goodness. But I did keep the nicely favored chicken and beef - I will use those items with my salads and may throw it into some soup.

My son has a real sweet girlfriend and she will be here for the week of spring break - I am looking forward to it. I would like to take her to a tea room for lunch one day so that will be fun. I am gathering a few things to mail her - sorta of a thinking of you package. We will see what I can come up with - for a college student it is sorta hard - but I would like for it to be girly so I will give it some serious thought. This should be fun.

Weekend life ...

What a busy weekend we have had. My husband is off every other weekend so he was off this weekend. Yea!! I always enjoy his company so was glad that he was off this weekend. But ... with my car sick (or dead!) we had to do the errands that I would have had done during the week. Normally I do a few errands every day to free up the weekend. I hate it when I spend my weekend running around town doing stuff - before you know it your day is gone. Oh well, that did not happen this time, so our Saturday went like this: to the post office to mail a few packages, drop by the bank to pay a bill, go to Target (we needed a new tea pot since during the blizzard our started to leak water plus a few grocery items and personal needs), dropped by office depot to get a print cartridge, to JC Penny's to return a few items and get my husband some house shoes with heavy soles, went to lunch, and went by the cable company to pay the invoice. It was about 2:30 before we walked in the door.

Now it is Sunday!! Threw in a load of laundry, went by Wally World for some fresh fruit, then off to church. Went I got home I threw the towels in the dryer, started lunch, made a few phone calls and rested. About 4 pm I decided that since my car is sick I need to get a hair cut - so off I went to take care of that. What these "fast cut" places do sometimes drive me crazy. You go in there - they shampoo your hair, cut it in about 9 minutes, blow dry it and you walk off with a 21.95 bill. Maybe 20 minutes tops. If it had not been so cold - about 35 degrees - I would have saved myself 6.00 and not have them blow dry my hair. 6 dollars - can you believe that - 6 dollars to run the blow dryer on my thin to balding hair for about 4 minutes. 6 dollars - I was surprised - probably should not have looked at the bill!! But trust me I will bring my dryer next time!! And to think this was half price Sunday!! (but just on shampoo if you look at the fine print!) This evening we just lazed around, watched TV and talked.

What a weekend - tomorrow another semseter starts - ..

My Car Died ...

I feel like eating junk food -- and I totally know why -- my car died ... I have been having trouble with it for the last few months off and on - just last week I spent $111.00 on the thermostat or something like that - and now it will not even start. What!!! and junk food is what I would be looking for about now - but I am not going there - instead I will blog and unload on you and not have this dead car dragging me down. No, I will not go to the vending machine - no, I will not. But I am not a happy camper!!! I had to ask for a ride to work today and I don't like that - I like having my own car to go when I want to go. Must be an independent issue there somewhere. My husband said that when he gets home he will check it out -- for me not to get too troubled by it - but trust me - he does not know how to check out a car!!! I hate car troubles - hate, hate it. Oh well, back to work ... I will not let this spoil my day ... I will not hear the vending machine calling my name ... NO way.

First Day back at work

First day back at work and what do I find in the breakroom ... leftover goodies: cookies, fudge, a large tray of assorted pound cake type bread, pumpkin roll, plates of it not just a little here and there but lots of it ... What!!! Come on guys - give me a break here ... And what did I do -- I said Darn to myself, grabbed some fresh coffee and walked out of the room. The room even smelt like chocolate - you know that smell - like you just made homemade fudge - one of the greatest smells ever!! Anyway - I ended up ending my lunch in the car and was so happy with myself that I did not give in to those goodies! Plus I got a bit of exercise walking to and back from my car. But as the day moves into the afternoon I feel that pull of the break room. I think back as to what I have been doing - watching what I eat - and I can feel that difference in my clothes and I like the feeling. I like it alot!! so here I am debating about my upcoming break and what I should do. I could take a bit of a walk in the opposite hallway - our building is set up like a square - so that was an idea and just not go to the break room. Or I could just forget the break and hope everyone has their fill and the leftovers will be gone. So here I am blogging and not eating - what a great plan :)

Did I tell you what I did with my goody gift? I got a goody plate from a good friend that didn't know that I was "watching" my weight -- so in order to make it thru the day I put it in the truck of my car ... just refused to bring it into the house. Because I know what would happen. I would sample a bit of this and a bite of that and before you know it, it would be gone ... and I would hate myself ... been there and it is still on my hips!!!! My husband's coworkers enjoyed the plate and I didn't have to deal with it.

Can't believe I'm doing this

Can't believe that I am teaching myself how to blog. It has taken me about a week to get it started but now I am ready. I feel that it is like talking with myself. It that crazy? And I'm not so sure that anyone will be reading it but a few select people. But that is not stopping me. I will go forward.

I joined WW in September in the hopes to lose some weight and get healthier. It is being held at my work so their is no excuse for me not going to a meeting. The weather can't be too cold, too hot, I can't be too busy, too tired to get up for the early meeting or I can't be too tired to stop at a meeting on my way home. No excuses - none. So I joined and, I admit, I was a bit nervous at first, after all these are my peers that are looking at me every week. But I do have a co-worker that I know quite well that also joined so that was nice. Actually I know most of those that joined but they don't work in my area/building so even thou I know them I don't see them but from time to time.

And now here it is Jan. 4 (my sister's birthday!!) and I have lost 29.6 pounds. I am so excited. I am doing so well. Now during the holidays it was tough - I held my own - No gains but not too much of a lose either but that was OK. In the past I'm sure that I would have gained and thought nothing about it. But I was so picky what I ate and most importantly how much I ate. I still think that portion control may be the true secret to losing weight. But here I am starting the new year 29.6 pounds lighter - I can't believe that my clothes have just started to feel loose on me. Now don't get too excited - just loose - not baggy - but I will take loose anytime.

In the last few weeks I have been having a fear of loose skin. I have read that when you loose a lot of weight (I need to lose 100+ pounds) that you will have a lot of loose skin. I'm not so sure what scares me the most - being heavy all my life or baggy skin. So.... I am starting to exercise - just what I hate to do. Just the thought of even exercising has me gritting my teeth. Not a pretty picture. But ... my friend encouraged me to go to an exercise class with her. So we went to a Zumba class. I knew that it was a dance with Latin music ... so I thought to myself - that sounds easy maybe, just maybe, I could do that. Are you kidding ... after about 12 minutes I was pooped. When we first got to class (again just a few blocks from where I live so no excuses for not going) the instructor said that if we got lost within the dance just keep moving - what!!! are you kidding ... keep moving - I was sweating after the first 12 minutes ... but I kept my feet moving. I could only handle 35 minutes of Zumba before I gave in - I slipped out quietly. But I have since gone back three times and each time I am able to handle a bit more - maybe my body will be OK after all. It has made me a bit sore but not too bad at all. But I did not go 3 times in a row - there was 3 or 4 days in between times. If my Baptist sisters could see me now!!